The S.S. Brick was docked at Oahu, where
Doctor Captain Commander Steven the Brick had apparently been competing in the
hula-hooping championship again Hannah. How a brick managed to rotate its
nonexistent hips to keep the hoop aloft was beyond me, but apparently he’d
gotten second to Hannah.
As guests aboard a Naval vessel, we were
forced to do chores along with the sailors. This included swabbing the deck,
kitchen duty, and other undesirable tasks. I tried to tell the Captain I was
dying and that should have exempted me from chores, but apparently that wasn’t
an excuse to personified inanimate objects.
We told Steve the Brick all about our
struggles with the Praying Mantis Baby and how Fumblegate had told us it was in
a cave on a remote island somewhere near Hawaii. He thought he might know of
the perfect island. We immediately set sail toward the island.
“Ah, sailing,” Hannah said about three
days later, over a plate of rations. “Being aboard a ship reminds me of my days
with Captain Blarneshmesh.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot you come from the
future,” Jon replied. He seemed happy to be a part of the adventure.
Despite the fact my saxophone and armor
were already polished, I was doing so once again to pass the time. Mitch was
constantly seasick and secluded to his cabin below-deck. Apparently being an
intergalactic warrior didn’t prevent a bad case of the collywobbles.
Suddenly, there was a boom of the canon
and the entire ship rocked. Hannah, Mitch and I rushed up to the command center
of the ship. The Captain sat near a microphone and was busily giving commands
over the intercom. Sailors of all ranks were hurriedly pressing buttons.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Pirates!” growled the Captain. “Quick!
Fire the rockets!”
“Pirates? From where?” Hannah inquired.
“By the looks of it – Somalia. Though,
it does appear they’ve commandeered the Black Pearl.”
“Davy Jones Locker!” Mitch cursed.
“Wait! I have a plan,” Hannah said.
Hastily, she told it to us and a few minutes later, the sailors had hooked the
two ships together and prepared several ropes for us to swing aboard ship on.
Admittedly, I felt pretty cool swinging onto a pirate ship in my fancy, Fire
Nation armor. My feet hit the deck and I whipped out my saxophone, prepared to
blast away. Immediately, pirates surrounded us, yar-yee-matey-ing, baring their
soiled teeth and brandishing swords and single-shot pistols.
To my amazement, Hannah began performing
the Charleston while saying, “Parlay! We wish to speak to your captain!”
One of the pirates turned around and
shouted, “キャプテンを取りに行く!” (Watashi wa kyaputen o mitsukeru
tsumoridesu)
Hannah, Mitch, Jon, Doctor Captain
Commander Steve the Brick and I did a double take.
Jon leaned toward me and muttered, “Did
that pirate just speak Chinese?”
“I think it was Japanese,” Mitch replied
hoarsely.
My stomach heaved sickeningly as I
realized that those weren’t standard, pirate swords, but samurai swords. I
gripped my saxophone a little closer and said, “They’re ninja pirates!”
“キャプテンねえ!” a pirate shouted. (Kyaputen nē!)
The ninja pirates
parted to form a small aisle to walk through and in it appeared the captain,
who happened to be none other than Gizmo. She wore a hat similar to Captain
Barbossa’s.
“Ninja pirates!
Take them below-deck. They’re now our prisoners!”
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